Coach Ellyn

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Self-reflection & Reviews: what they are & Why the Hell You Should Do Them

Self-reflection and review is a powerful, powerful tool. I talk all about this all the time but why should we do it? And not just why but how should we go about doing it. So, let’s get into it…

1

Because they help us become AWARE

I truly believe that we make progress and gains in our lives when we become aware of the things that are undermining us and then work to correct them.

And you can only do that by becoming aware of those things. That’s why doing a review or reflection is so damn important.

So many of our behaviors fly under the radar. Obviously not all. It’s easy to identify when we should sleep more, workout more, etc. but those other behaviors we have to work a lot harder to notice.

But those more subtle things might not jump out at us until we notice when they come up in patterns during our reviews. They might not jump out at us until we sit down, slow down, and reflect on what those things might be.

2

Because they force us to SLOW DOWN

As I mentioned in the previous point, often times we struggle to slow down. Many of us as high-achievers don’t stop. We just go go go through out chaos and our stressors, and we burnout as a result of it. Plus, when/if we do slow down, we numb and that right there can be a sign of burnout.

I get the impulse to numb. Sometimes it feels so much better and like so much less work to just drink, watch TV or movies, and avoid the very things we could probably learn in that moment. I get that impulse. Hell, I still have to fight against that impulse constantly - and sometimes it wins.

But, a review or self-reflection is a great way to not only develop self-awareness, but also to force yourself to slow down so that you can cultivate that self-awareness.

3

Because it allows us to collect data about our lives

We can often be very biased when we look at our lives. Sometimes we’re not able to make conscious decisions about what truly is best for us. But that’s actually why I love reviews. It takes the emotion and the subjectivity out of it.

I am a scientist by training and I think the best thing we can do is put our scientist hat on in these instances and learn from what’s not working.

4

Because no one wants to live the definition of insanity

You know that old saying: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting diferent results.” But frankly that’s what so many of us do. We do the same thing over and over again and expect different results. Doing reviews/reflections help us to identify the part of our lives where we are living the definition of insanity and make changes instead of repeating the same mistakes over and over again.

5

Because it will help you manage your burnout

All of the above points really do one important thing - help you manage your burnout! Why? Because slowing yourself down gives you an opportunity to recharge. Because gathering data points from your life helps you to identify what your sources of stress and burnout are. And lastly, because drawing awareness to all of these things can help you avoid them in the future. All of the cummulatively contributes to decreasing your burnout.

so now that we’ve talked about why…

let’s talk about how!

how do you do a review?

I feel like the figure above really lays it out how to do a review. There are 3 time points where it helps to check-in and review yourself - weekly, monthlys, and quarterly. But more so then the when, the what.

A great review doesn’t have to be complicated. In fact, 3 simple questions can really give you a lot of powerful information moving forward in your life.

  • What went well? Look back at your week and say what aspects of your week feel like they went well. Perhaps you had the perfect workload and didn’t overwhelm yourslef. Perhaps you took Friday and Saturday off and didn’t check your email at all. Those can all be important data points to incorporate more consistently moving forward.

  • What didn’t go well? Similar to the prevoius question, this really helps you identify the things that you were doing that didn’t work. For example, perhaps you were tired all week and were undersleeping. That might be a sign that something that “didn’t go well” that week would be your sleep. It also gives you a target to aim for in terms of what to improve moving forward, which brings us to the final question.

  • What can improve? This could literally be anyting. It could be continuing something that you did well in previous weeks or focusing on changing and improving something that didn’t go well. This is the action step part of the process. Not only are you refelcting but you’re making a plan for the future and that’s powerful not just for self awareness but for personal development.

Weekly reviews give you the real-time data of what is and is not working from week to week. I usually do my weekly review on Sunday evenings or Monday mornings.

Monthly reviews are also helpful because they give you a big picture overview of what’s working and what’s not. It’s also a great opportunity to for you to look back on your previous weeks reflections.

Lastly, quarterly reviews are perhaps my favorite because it is the time where I set goals and make pivots. Quarterly reviews are where I assess how well I did on my goals for my previous quarter and then re-evaluate myself and set new goals. :-)

So, that’s my review process...

what do you think is going to benefit you most?

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