Why I'm Done Making Success Harder Than It Needs to Be
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If you've been forcing struggle because ease feels wrong, this one's for you.
I sat down for my weekly reflection call recently—cozy blanket, fire on the TV, the whole vibe—and my friend asked a question that stopped me cold:
"What's one feeling you've been trying to suppress that actually just needs to be acknowledged?"
And the answer hit me like a freight train: I've been suppressing ease.
Not overwhelm. Not stress. Not anxiety.
Ease.
I've been pushing away the feeling of things going well. Of things flowing. Of not having to grind and hustle and white-knuckle my way through everything.
Because somewhere along the line, I learned that ease equals danger. That if things aren't hard, something must be wrong.
And if you're a high achiever reading this, I'm guessing you know exactly what I'm talking about.
The Pattern High Achievers Know Too Well
Years ago, I recorded a podcast episode about why I hustle. In it, I realized I was working harder than I needed to—not because I had to, but because I expected things to be hard.
When things weren't hard? Something felt off. Like I was missing something. Like I wasn't earning my success.
I thought I'd worked through that pattern. But this reflection made me realize: I'm still doing it.
I'm still creating struggle where there doesn't need to be any. I'm still forcing difficulty because I don't know how to trust that things can just be good.
And it's exhausting.
What My AI Agent Said That Changed Everything
Here's where things got interesting.
I finished my weekly review and my AI agent (yes, I have one—she's named Chelsea and she's basically my digital CEO) said something that made me read it four times:
"The ease you're feeling isn't a red flag. It's what competence looks like after years of prep work. You've correlated struggle with worthiness your whole life, but ease is the actual sign that you're ready. The growth already happened. This is what alignment feels like."
Let me say that again, because it bears repeating:
Ease is what competence looks like after years of prep work.
Think about that for a second.
I've spent years building systems in Notion. Learning how to create workflows that actually work with my ADHD brain instead of against it. Developing strategies for sustainable success. Doing the hard work of personal growth.
And now? Things are easier. Because I've done the work.
But instead of celebrating that—instead of recognizing ease as evidence of growth—I've been treating it like a warning sign.
Like, "Wait, this shouldn't be this easy. What am I missing? Where's the catch?"
The Belief That's Sabotaging High Achievers
Here's the belief underneath all of this. The one that quietly runs the show for so many ambitious, driven, successful people:
Success should be hard.
If something comes easily, it's not valuable. It's not real success.
Prosperity should require struggle. Fulfillment should come with effort. If you're not grinding, you're not growing.
And I've been living this belief without even realizing it.
I literally caught myself scoring myself poorly on "growth" in my Wheel of Life assessment because I didn't feel like I was grinding. So therefore, if I'm not grinding, I'm not growing.
But here's the truth: There's a difference between effort and unnecessary struggle.
There's a difference between working hard on something that matters and creating chaos just to feel like you're "earning" your success.
And as a burnout coach, I should know better. But knowing something intellectually and embodying it? Those are two very different things.
The Disconnect Between Values and Reality
I have a value statement for fulfillment. It's one of my core values, and it says:
"Showing up regularly and trusting myself to do my best in all I do and ensuring that everything I do pours back into me."
When I read that this week, I felt uncomfortable. Because if I'm really honest with myself, that's not what fulfillment has actually looked like for me.
I've been chasing a version of fulfillment that requires:
Working harder than anyone else
Proving I can handle anything
Overcoming obstacles
Grinding through challenges
But my value statement says ensuring that everything I do pours back into me.
And forcing things to be harder than they need to be? That doesn't pour back into me. That drains me.
So there's this massive disconnect between what I say I value and what I've actually been doing.
And I'm guessing I'm not alone in this.
Why We Make Success Harder Than It Needs to Be
If you're reading this thinking, "Yep, I do this too," let's talk about why.
For most high achievers, the pattern looks like this:
We've learned that struggle equals worthiness.
Maybe you grew up hearing "nothing worth having comes easy." Maybe you watched people around you equate hard work with moral virtue. Maybe you experienced situations where safety wasn't guaranteed, so ease became suspicious.
Whatever the origin story, the belief got wired in: If it's not hard, it doesn't count.
And now, even when you've built the systems (shoutout to all my fellow Notion nerds), done the therapy, developed the skills, and created the infrastructure for things to actually work—you don't trust it.
You look for the problem. You create challenge. You force difficulty.
Because ease feels dangerous.
The Three Shifts I'm Making (And You Can Too)
So here's what learning to trust ease looks like practically. I'm not saying I've figured this out—I'm literally in the messy middle of it. But here's what I'm working on:
1. Giving Permission to Not Force
I'm actively practicing not creating challenge where there doesn't need to be any.
Not forcing difficulty. Not making things harder just because I'm used to struggle.
This means when something goes smoothly, instead of immediately thinking "What's wrong?"—I pause and ask, "What if this is actually right?"
2. Acknowledging the Growth That's Already Happened
The ease I'm feeling isn't because I'm slacking or losing my edge.
It's because I've grown.
I've built systems in Notion that support my business instead of creating more work. I've learned how to work with my brain instead of against it. I've done years of personal development.
The ease is the result of that work. It's the whole point.
3. Extending Grace to Myself the Way I Do to Others
If a client came to me and said, "I don't trust when things go well," I would coach them through it.
I would ask them:
What old beliefs are driving that?
Where did you learn that ease equals danger?
What would it look like to rewrite that story?
And I need to do that for myself.
Because the belief that "success should be hard" is just that—a belief. It's not a universal truth. It's a story I've been telling myself.
And I get to rewrite it.
The Questions Every High Achiever Needs to Ask
If this is resonating, here are three questions to sit with:
1. Where am I forcing challenge or difficulty that doesn't need to be there?
Look at your business, your relationships, your daily routines. Where are you making things harder than they have to be?
2. What belief am I holding about success that makes me distrust ease?
Get specific. Is it "nothing worth having comes easy"? Is it "if I'm not struggling, I'm not growing"? Name the belief.
3. What would it look like to extend grace to myself the way I do to others?
How would you coach a friend through this? What would you say to them? Now say it to yourself.
What If You Stopped Making It Harder?
Here's the question that cuts through all the noise:
What are you afraid will happen if you let it be easy?
For me, I'm afraid that if things are easy, they're not valuable. That I'm not earning my success. That I don't deserve it.
But that's not true.
Ease is what competence looks like.
Ease is what alignment feels like.
Ease is the whole damn point.
You don't build systems (whether that's in Notion or anywhere else) and do the hard work of growth so you can keep struggling forever.
You do it so that eventually, things get easier.
And when they do? You get to celebrate that. Trust that. Enjoy that.
You don't have to keep proving yourself. You've already done the work.
The Truth About Sustainable Success
Here's what I'm learning as both a burnout coach and a recovering over-achiever:
You're allowed to let it be good.
You're allowed to have things go well without waiting for the other shoe to drop.
You're allowed to trust ease and flow and alignment.
You're allowed to stop forcing struggle.
Success doesn't have to be hard to be real.
And if you've been making it harder than it needs to be—like I have—you get to stop.
You get to loosen your grip. You get to trust that you've done the work. You get to acknowledge that the ease you're feeling isn't a warning sign.
It's the whole point. This is what you've been working toward.
So let yourself have it.
Your Next Steps
Before you close this tab and move on to the next thing on your list, take a moment:
Acknowledge one area where you've been forcing struggle.
Maybe it's your content creation process. Maybe it's your client onboarding. Maybe it's how you plan your week.
What would it look like to let that be easier?
Not because you're lowering your standards or losing your edge—but because you've already built the competence for it to flow.
And if you want support in building systems that actually make your business easier (not harder), that's literally what I do. Whether you're looking for Notion systems for solopreneurs or just want to build a more sustainable approach to success, join the Sunday CEO Diaries or come hang in the Skool community.
Because the truth is: You don't need to burn out to build the business and life of your dreams. You just need to stop making it harder than it has to be.
Ready to trust the ease?
Me too. Let's do this together.
